Graviton Gazette

Capricorn(December 22- January 19) You will achieve all of your goals and dreams in life in your dream.

Aquarius( January 20- February 18) You’ll drown in the sea today but a hot lifeguard will save you and give you a mouth to mouth resuscitation.

Pisces( February 19- March 20) You will uncover a very dark secret in your life but you’ll forget it after a minute or two.

Aries( March 21- April 19) Your going to have a hard time dealing with someone today. Let it get into you.

Taurus( April 20- May 20) Your girlfriend will break up with you today. Go and break up with her before she does it first.

Gemini( May 21- June 20) You’ll find a treasure somewhere in your house. So get moving and start cleaning.

Cancer( June 21- July 22) The doctor will diagnose you of having a stage 4 skin cancer. But will turn out that it’s supposed to be for the next patient.

Leo( July 23- August 22) A big war will happen because of you. But you won’t even know that you will be the cause of it.

Virgo( August 23- September 22) A scout will offer you a modeling career in a famous magazine. But she will take it back right away after she sees your companion and will ask her instead.

Libra( September 23- October 22) A gag show will pull a prank on you. So be careful if don’t want to die in embarassment.

Scorpio( October 23- November 21) You’ll win an all expense trip to Paris. But you will forget where you put your claiming coupon.

Sagittarius( November 22- December 21) You’ll be awarded as the best in abstract painting. This is the break you’ve been waiting for so grab it now.